Real California FC

Top Ten Issues for Sports Parents
By Rick Wolff

Issue No. 10 – The issue is playing time. You have to understand, Mom and Dad, that if
your kid goes out for a team – unless the league stipulates that every kid has to play at
least a certain portion of the game – there’s no guarantee that your kid is going to play a
lot in the game. That’s harsh for the kids, but it’s even harder for the parents, especially
if you have high expectations for your athlete. What can you (or your child) do about it?
Of course, a meeting with the coach can be helpful, but it doesn’t always solve all the
problems of playing time. In fact, one of the life lessons you have to teach your
youngster is that being talented just isn’t enough. You have to be able to show and
impress the coach with your desire to want to play.

Issue No. 9 – Parental behavior at the games is a key issue. In short, it’s as simple as
this: your job is to act like a grown-up at the kid’s games. It’s not you playing in the
game; it’s your kid. Your childhood is over and as an adult you must understand that if
you go nuts at your kid’s games, the kids will eventually copy and follow your actions
and become just as unsportsmanlike as you are.

Issue No. 8 – Sportsmanship, again it’s up to you, the parents to set the record straight.
Show the kids that you can enjoy the game, win or lose and still shake the other team’s
hands and the same goes for the ref. You know it’s easy to say “Good game” to the ref
after your team has won, it’s a lot tougher – and a lot classier – to say “Good game” after
your team has lost. Sportsmanship takes real effort and while you can certainly
encourage your child to compete as best he or she can, when the game is over, they have
to revert to being civil human beings and so do you!

Issue No. 7 – Do your homework on competitive teams. As a parent, if your kid wants to
try our for a travel team, it’s your job to check on the team, the coach and what kind of
priorities the coach has for the team. That means checking on playing time, coaching
strategies, checking with former players on the team, how cuts are made and so forth.
Most sports parents only want to see the positive aspects of travel teams and that’s fine,
but if you’re smart, you’ll be watchful of things that can easily go wrong. Remember if
you don’t look out for your child, who will?

Issue No. 6 – Know how to support and praise your kid, especially when things aren’t
going well. A loss is tough enough for a kid; he or she doesn’t need you doing a postgame
analysis on them too. The PGA – post-game analysis. Be very careful not to start
pointing out to your athlete what they did wrong or need to improve right after the game
is over. Kids HATE that and if you do it enough times, your kid will quit rather than
endure your post-game grill sessions. Try using the praise sandwich approach whenever
you want to give some constructive criticism and watch your words and tone of voice
carefully. One other note…adversity is still a great teacher and motivator. Every young
athlete will go through some sort of adversity in their life and it’s at that time they’ll be
more responsive to your instruction and ideas, but the key is – THEY have to come to
you – not the other way around!

Issue No. 5 – Be careful of having your child specialize in a sport too early in life. The
majority of professional coaches and athletes do not feel that a kid ought to play just one
sport when they are growing up. Why? Because play8ing one sport will lead to burnout
by the time they’re thirteen or fourteen and even worse that one sport all year round will
transform from being fun to being just a job. Bottom line? Let your kid play a variety of
sports when they’re kids. They don’t have to start to even thinking about specialization
until they are fifteen or sixteen.

Issue No. 4 – Don’t be in a hurry to show them how you used to play the sport. No kid
ever wants to have Dad show him or her how “I used to do this…” The truth is your
child wants to be their own man or woman and they really aren’t that interested in how
you performed a certain move or skill. What they really want is to develop their own
signature moves.

Issue No. 3 – Get a reality check. The stats don’t lie. Very few kids go on to play college
sports. Do you think the stats don’t apply to your kid? If the odds are that less than 5%
of all high school varsity athletes ever go on to play collegiate sport why do so many
parents think that their kid is going to be that special one?

Issue No. 2 – Get involved as a coach or assistant coach. Rather than stand on the
sidelines at the games and criticize the coaching strategies, if you think you can do better,
then offer your services and become either a head coach or assistant coach. Once you
find yourself on the die of the fence, you’ll discover that coaching is a little tougher than
you had thought. And if you can’t coach, then get outside and practice with your child.
Get involved that way.

Issue No. 1 – Put a smile on your face, let them know they are doing great. Relax. Enjoy
the moment. Take a moment and just look at that youngster of yours on the field. Look
how they move – how they enjoy chatting with their friends on the team. Sometimes,
you might even see them smile because they’re enjoying themselves. That’s what you
should want for your kid. And so take a lesson from that. If they’re having fun, you
learn from their lead. You have fun too…smile…enjoy the game…give the kids a real
pat on the back…and their parents and the coach, too…

If you can master this simple philosophy you’ll find that you really enjoy youth sports a
lot more.